Much Too Deep
by Alana Hikari-Chan
Summary: A slightly angsty 'Riku's totally insane and shitzophrenic' songfic. _SLIGHT_ hints of shonen-ai


A funny (As in, very strange) songfic I suspect is inspired partially by one of JoannaD's stories. Hint of what might be shonen-ai, if you want to look at it a certain way. No like? Then buzz off, ya baka.  
I don't own Kingdom Hearts or "I will remember you".  
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Much Too Deep  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Riku lies awake.   
The true world of light, for some reason, is always in a dark twilight.  
He reminisces, not to his time with Heartless, but to the Island.  
  
~ I will remember you. Will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by, weep not for the memories. ~  
  
He stands and walks to where Mickey is on Sentry duty.  
"I'll take over." He does almost every night. Mickey glances at him in concern.  
"Riku, you need to sleep sometimes..."  
Riku smiles bitterly.  
"If I sleep, I dream."  
  
~ I'm so tired, I can't sleep, standin' on the edge of something much too deep. ~  
  
A few moments after Mickey closes his eyes, the heartless appear. Riku smiles again and quietly kills all of them.  
As the last one releases its cloud of death-fog, Riku sees an eddy of air causing it to look like Sora's reproachful eyes. Riku shudders.  
"I see you, Sora. I know how you feel," he whispers to the darkness. "It's wrong to summon heartless just to kill them." His voice grows angry and a bit worried. "But I need to hurt things sometimes, Sora. I _need_ to!"  
  
~ It's funny how we feel so much, but we cannot say a word. We are screaming inside, oh, we can't be heard. I will remember you. Will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by, weep not for the memories. ~  
  
Riku's voice is calm again.  
"So, Sora, when are you coming t' get me out of here? You're a bit later then you usually were... Back then." Riku seems to listen intently for a moment, then chuckles. "You are too late. You always were, back on the islands. Never more then ten minutes, but still... Maybe if you had gotten there five minutes earlier, none of this would have happened. No, I'm not blaming you."  
  
~ Remember the good times that we had. I let them slip away from us when things got bad. ~  
  
Riku backs up to a large, dark crystal and slides his back down it until he's sitting.  
"So, seen Kairi lately?" Pause. "Still haven't found her? Really, Sora, the last thing I asked you was to take care of her." Pause. Riku's voice is incredulous. "Why?! STILL haven't figured it out? I never loved her. She's okay for a girl, but I always preferred hanging out with you more."  
  
~ Now clearly I first saw you, smiling in the sun, I wanna feel your warmth, I wanna be the one. I will remember you. Will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by, weep not for the memories. ~  
  
A long pause. Riku laughs.  
"Really? Donald did THAT? Huh. Never thought he had it in him."  
Another long pause, bun no feeling that Riku is listening to anything. Then Riku lets out another bark of startled laughter, but this time it's tinged with bitterness.  
"I just figured it out. I had a crush on you. Oh, wipe that look off your face, Sor'. That's why I did a lot of stuff- my subconscious or whatever repressed it, so I didn't know, but I still felt a need to prove myself or something. Or at least, that's the most comforting theory so far." Pause. "You may be right, that's probably why I let Ansem take over my body. Your rejection DID hurt a lot, and the keyblade's on top of that..." Pause. Riku chuckles. "No, I don't think I still have a crush on you. Hey, no need to look RELIVED. There're worse people who could have a crush on you." Short pause. "Hm... Selphie? Yuffie? Leon?... Yeah, the last would just be too strange. And I'd feel obliged to rip his throat out a little." Pause. "Well, you are still my best friend, and a bit my lil' brother."  
  
~ So afraid to love you, more afraid to lose ~  
  
After a very long period of silence, Riku speaks again, very quietly, and with a quaver of tiredness, and maybe a bit of fear.  
"S...Sora, do you hate me... For what I did? I... won't blame you, but... If anything were different, I wouldn't have done any of it. At least... at least, I hope not..."  
  
~ Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose ~  
  
Riku's eyes light up in happiness. "You, you forgive me?"  
  
~ Where once there was a darkness, a deep and endless night, you gave me everything you had, oh, you gave me life. ~  
  
Now, Kingdom Hearts does not seem so dark.  
"Thanks, Sora."  
Riku walks quietly to his pallet, lies down, and sleeps.  
He dreams.  
  
~I will remember you. Will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by, weep not for the memories. Weep not for the memories...~  
  
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I like how that turned out... Yeah, small hints of shonen-ai, but I warned you, didn't I? Well, R&R! ^_^ Seeya! 


End file.
